My Brookstone gig
[caption id="attachment_118" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="For once, I believe the product warnings."][/caption] THESE PAST TWO WEEKS I've been freelancing at Brookstone, the specialty...
View ArticleWARNING: the Surgeon General has determined that advertising may be harmful...
LAST FRIDAY I RECEIVED GOOD NEWS. Brookstone wants to extend my freelance gig a couple of months until a staff copywriter returns from maternity leave. Almost as gratifying were the phone messages and...
View ArticleThe Geocities diaspora, and my rite of return
IT WAS BACK IN 1996 when I took The Dave Conley Portfolio online. A year or so earlier I had paid an Amsterdam outfit called Lost Boys Interactive (they're still around) to make a CD-ROM portfolio, but...
View ArticleRobley Feland: the man who did “Brown’s Job”
[caption id="attachment_161" align="aligncenter" width="231" caption="Originally in "The Wedge," BBDO newsletter, circa 1920. Click for text."][/caption] LONG AGO, A BOOK called The 100 Greatest...
View ArticleLife is a thrill ride … and I’m gonna be sick
My life in a nutshell, as captured by an automated camera at the Story Land amusement park in New Hampshire. Ben and my wife Elsa are clearly having a good time -- and two out of three ain't bad.
View ArticleThe guts, if not the glory
[caption id="attachment_184" align="alignleft" width="223" caption=""Impulse" packaging written for Brookstone. Click for product."][/caption] A FACT OF LIFE for freelance writers is that they often...
View Article#narcissism
IS IT CAREER SUICIDE to dislike social networking? Maybe, if you're a copywriter. Every help-wanted ad these days asks for social networking expertise, so maybe someone will read this and think twice...
View ArticleMy strangest project ever
IF I WAS A PULP DETECTIVE, the story might start like this: I was staring out at a blustery fall afternoon in Amsterdam, watching the yellow trams as they rolled by and occasionally belched grungy drug...
View ArticleTales from the copy crypt – vol. 2
MASTORS & SERVANT - VERTICAL NEWSLETTER PROGRAM (2003-2004) NEWSLETTERS ARE CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED. Most people evaluating a portfolio don't look twice at them, but to me they're a writer's...
View ArticleApril hollers bring May dollars
A GLOOMY APRIL held little promise of gainful employment, but I'm pleased to report that I am once again earning money. Staff departures at Brookstone and a little networking with my old supervisor...
View ArticleValentine’s Day, and the big kiss-off
A ROSY RED VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL, with warm hopes that your holiday is replete with cards and chocolates and a plump Cupid shooting arrows wherever they will do the most good. I haven't written for a...
View ArticleTales from the copy crypt – vol. 3
CITIZENS BANK OF NEW HAMPSHIRE - CEO SPEECH (January 1999) I HAVEN'T DONE MUCH SPEECHWRITING, but here's a rare departure from the written word, scripted at OGBE Communications (Manchester, NH) for...
View ArticleCutting remarks
A CONFESSION: I EDIT MY COPY TOO MUCH. It is not fashionable for copywriters to agonize over widows and orphans and line breaks, trying to find short sharp words instead of longer and more passive...
View ArticleBrookstone slideshow sampler
CATALOGS, PR SHEETS, EMAIL, WEB PAGES, SEO COPY ... I did a little of everything at Brookstone as a freelancer and staff copywriter. Plus a lot of copy editing and troubleshooting for products that...
View ArticleThe 18-month job interview
LAST WEDNESDAY I WAS OFFERED A JOB AT BROOKSTONE. It was suspiciously similar to what I'd been doing there as a freelancer since last February, only for a little less money and a few more hours. So of...
View ArticleA valentine of sorts
THIS IS INSPIRED by the first A&L ad I ever saw, back when I was writing washing machine manuals in Michigan. Then I came upon a wondrous self-promotion for the advertising agency of my dreams. HR...
View ArticleValentine’s Day, and the big kiss-off
A ROSY RED VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL, with warm hopes that your holiday is replete with cards and chocolates and a plump Cupid shooting arrows wherever they will do the most good. I haven't written for a...
View ArticleMy first client, my worst client
I'VE WORKED WITH HUNDREDS OF CLIENTS. But one stands out as a touchstone in my career -- a North Star I could always look to for perspective. No matter how bad things might seem, at least I wasn't...
View ArticlePortrait of the author as an old man
LAST MONTH I TURNED 50. No amusing cards, no silly hats, no gag gifts about erectile dysfunction. Just a small cake, a few candles and me with my wife and kid. I was a little grouchy, I admit. "Grow...
View ArticleTales from the copy crypt – chapter 4
MASTORS & SERVANT - B2B MARKETING CAMPAIGN (2004) PEOPLE TREAT INTEGRATED MARKETING AS A BIG DEAL, but companies on a budget often have no choice. Here's a business-to-business program I devised...
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